Five Weeks

Early this morning I got home from Fight Night. As usual Tim and I stayed up long past everyone else left and talked. It was a good talk, until we came to the realization that it was the same situation, sitting in the dark, in the living room upstairs very early Sunday morning, and in a matter of hours Brett would call us with news that would pretty much change lives to some extent. That was a little tough to handle.

The afternoon started out simple enough. Tim and I were going to watch Pulp Fiction. Great plan, except we couldn't find the dvd. Brett had taken his copy home and for the life of us, we could not find Evan's copy. We searched the house up and down, everywhere. No such luck. I think for a while we finally convinced ourselves that Caesar had actually eaten it. Gradually people came over for Fight Night and it was a good one. Well wouldn't you know, guess what movie we found on Showtime at midnight: effing PULP FICTION. Soon all others left and Tim and I are watching but we get sidetracked with other conversations, which pretty much at this point all lead to Evan. It's habit, but it's good for us. Lots of good memories that make us laugh over and over, even if they're some of the same stories we've been telling for the last month. Finally we go upstairs to the living room and once more look for the Pulp Fiction dvd and I make the comment that somewhere from beyond whatever, Evan is laughing his ass of at us because he has somehow magically hidden this dvd and has been amused the last 12 hours watching us search for it. It made us laugh, and made us smile, and it was good because good memories and happy thoughts are necessary. Tim showed me a partial video from the Spring Break trip to Vegas/California and it was so surreal to see Evan talking on camera, but at the same time it was comforting, and it made me smile. I'm not sure where I am going with this and what I am trying to say. It has been a while now, sometimes it seems like just yesterday and sometimes it seems like forever ago. Here's what I do know: I miss you. Not in any way that can even come close to what Tim feels, given the fact that you've been best friends for the last couple years, but I miss you. I miss you and Tim harassing me, I miss you trying to break my arm (because I think we all know you never really would have hurt me), I miss you telling me to not worry about it, I miss staying up all night talking and yet never having the same conversation twice, I miss waking up on the couch with Tequila sitting on my stomach, I miss that laugh, I miss that hand on my stomach or my back just to let me know you were there. I am getting way too sappy now and I shouldn't. But I miss ya kid.